Expresiones prohibidas en la oficina

Esta creo es la segunda vez que publico un mail recibido en mi oficina. Me dió mucha gracia la forma en que los managers interpretaron los insultos y los describieron en inglés. Vale la pena leerlo.

All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

1.- Words like carajo, la puta madre or me da por el quinto forro and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.

2.- You will not say la cagó when someone makes a mistake, or la están cagando if you see someone being reprimanded, or que cagada when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb cagar are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.

3.- No supervisor or manager under any circumstances will be referred as hijo de mil putas, guanaco mal parido, es una mierda or es una bosta.

4.- Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta de huevo nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as cagón de mierda, pelotudo, or boludo

5.- Unusual or creative ideas offered by the management are not to be referred as pajas mentales or pendejadas.

6.- Do not say cómo hincha las pelotas nor que ladilla de mierda if a person is persistent; do not add cagó fuego if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say cagamos nor nos rompieron el orto when a matter becomes excessively complicated.

7.- When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say andate a la concha de tu hermana nor should you ever substitute May I help you? with Qué concha querés?

8.- Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners as viejos de mierda.

9.- Do not say me chupa un huevo when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer sobame el nabo when your assistance is required.

10.- The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as viejo sentón, tragasables or mariqueta de mierda.

11.- Last but no means least, after reading this note please don't say me la paso por el orto. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

Thanks